kateoplis:

Bart Centre, 61, a retired retail executive in New Hampshire has started a service called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets that promises to rescue and care for animals left behind by the saved. Promoted on the Web as “the next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World,” the service has attracted more than 100 clients, who pay $110 for a 10-year contract ($15 for each additional pet.) If the Rapture happens in that time, the pets left behind will have homes—with atheists. Centre has set up a national network of godless humans to carry out the mission.

Centre doesn’t think he will ever have to follow through on the service he offers. But he believes in virtuous acts. His Web site directs about $200 a month in proceeds from Google ads to food banks in Minnesota and New Hampshire. And to pet owners, he has already delivered something of great value: peace of mind, for just 92 cents a month. “If we thought the Rapture was really going to happen,” Centre says, “obviously our rate structure would be much higher.”

“I’m trying to figure out how to cash in on this hysteria to supplement my income.”

Hilarious.

If I were a dog and the Rapture came, I’d make a B-line for the Beggin Strips factory.