Dear NFL,

Why are you making it harder for me to watch the one sport that I love so dearly?

First it was blackouts, then you let Monday Night Football move to ESPN (I can’t rationalize spending $50/month on crappy cable programming for just a few channels I’d actually watch), and now we fans can’t see the late season Thursday night games unless we subscribe to the even more specialized NFL Network! What’s next, a pay-per-quarter plan?

All I want is to bask in the glory of battle that is football. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ve always loved George Carlin’s take on the sport in comparison to baseball (which I find to be about as exciting as my nosehair). But seriously, what the fuck NFL?

Oh and thanks for forcing CBS to cut away from what might have been the most exciting ending to a game so far this year. Because of your “NFL Rules” I had to listen to Boomer Esiason give me the play-by-play while he watched it on his monitor in the studio. Come on now… Boomer?!?

It’s bad enough that I can’t catch a Bills game out here in Portland, but that’s understandable. Sometimes you don’t even give us four games during the day (2 on Fox, 2 on CBS). You’re not fooling me, NFL, I know there’s a game going on somewhere. Boomer told me so.

Sunday is my our day to do nothing but witness the battles in the trenches with minimal commercial interruption brought to us by Toyota and Cialis and all the other prostate and weiner drugs. And John Mellencamp. We’ve accepted that, now go away… just gimme the game.

Love,

Jared